posted: April 13th, 2012
So, you couldn't make it out to Coachella this year? Well, let's look at ways you can recreate the experience...
* Play four songs from different bands at the same time.
* Throw piles of dirt all over your car.
* Lock away all your bottled water, put a large number of mannequins in a line near a water hose, and stand in line for free water.
* Go to the gas station, and pour 25 gallons of gas from the pump on the ground.
* Go sit in your car for three-plus hours with the engine off (twice...once for going there, and once for driving back), complaining about how the traffic is ass and you are not moving.
* Play a live concert video on your TV, and stand 500 feet away from it, or...
* Play a live concert video of multiple bands who you do not like, stand in front of it, and complain how if you move you will not be front row for the band you REALLY want to see, or...
* Play a live concert video on your TV, and have a friend constantly stand in front of your TV taking blurry pictures on their mobile phone.
* Turn off your cell phone, and complain about the lack of service.
* Play most of a live album, shut it off a few songs before the end, and then complain about how the sets at Coachella are always shorter than normal concerts.
* Go to your bathroom, and do a "number one" and a "number two"....everywhere but in the toilet. Now, go eat a lot of bad food, then wait outside your bathroom. While waiting for the imaginary line to move, debate the pros and cons of trying to squat over previously laid "waste", or the medical problems that will arise from popping Imodium.
* Go to a Hot Topic and offer them four times the prices for the shirts they have in stock.
* Stand for eleven hours.
* Put a live album on your iPod, and go find some stoners to stand too close to, or...
* Put a live album on your iPod, go to a bar in a college town and stand too close to people. Extra points for them spilling their drinks on you.
* Go to any crowded mall, and try to listen to the mall music as people who don't care about the music you are trying to enjoy walk into you and talk around you. It's just like being there!